Sunday school teacher for a day
Disclaimer:- if you’ve ever been diagnosed with “issueology”- stop reading this here
In the beginning God made man, this fella called Adam was given a whole play station, free food, pets, a big swimming pool; I mean he was living in paradise. Eden was practically like Las Vegas, but even with all that, Adam said he was bored. God being the brains of all brains came up with the perfect solution; break Adam’s ribs with the best joke ever; a woman; her name was Eve, and boy did they have fun.
I know most of you are now thinking of Cineplex or Club Silk; get real this is BC, Adam and Eve just talked and talked and talked like radio and weazy, sometimes it was lame lines from Adam mbu he was the manager and CEO of Eden, other times real great jazz about stuff. Eve had a dope IQ as 99% of chics do (guys if your think I'm wrong, try pulling the “virgin Mary stunt”) anyway as I was saying, the short time she was at Eden, she had analysed everything; Adam was wasting resources big time and she told him so
Adam was slow like most men are (just swallow guys before I starting backing that up with evidence like Samson), the dude just couldn't get it, so Eve broke it down for the hommie, call it a little brain booster, it had occurred to her that the forbidden fruit was the most important resource in the garden, yet it was the one thing Adam ignored the most, he kept telling her that “he had no rights” to which she relentlessly kept reminding him that he was the CEO, he had all the rights.
Adam knew he was nothing but just a junior manager on probation at Eden, so he decided to come clean anti the truth shall set you free, but this one really pissed off Eve (aint life a B*#%h?), she couldn’t believe she was dating a guy on probation; she took a walk alone in the garden to cool off. That’s how she met Mr X (not the guy from Leon Island), a dude who was fired from Eden for trying to overtake the boss. He told her about the company’s classified secret “the forbidden fruit” however, we still haven’t established for a fact whether it was all wolokoso or not.
Eve couldn’t believe what she was hearing, this was the kind of opportunity Adam needed to upgrade, she told Adam all the benefits they stand to gain from the forbidden fruit. Adam was sceptical because to him that felt like double-crossing his boss (true dat), but Eve was a woman on a mission, and she wasn’t going to take NO for an answer. She employed that powerful tool called tears and guilt tripping, in the end Adam melted, consoled Eve and agreed to taste the forbidden fruit with her.
Just like a bank vault, the tree had silent alarms that these two didn't know about (yeah technology existed before Einstein) where else do you think he got the apple to do his “gravity” experiments in physics? Besides how do you think the whole world was created? Anyway back to our two rebels, the moment they tasted it, the alarms went off, and they got so busted. God called for an emergency meeting ASAP; with no shame Adam showed up wearing his new designer label “the Adam’s suit” Eve on the other hand decided it was time to launch her kimansulo line.
But God had not yet released the red pepper paparazzi from heaven, that’s why you haven’t seen those pictures published anywhere in the holy book. He was like, Adam I thought we had a memorandum of understanding, what happened? Adam was quick to put Eve in the line of fire, she made me do it (inspiration for Chameleon’s “Bayuda tulya nabo”) however, when the spotlight was turned on Eve, she had already planned her backup speech; Mr X is the one who told me to do it. God looked at them for a while playing the blame game, and told them point blank, look here guys I have a whole flood coming soon to deal with, I'm busy going through the blue prints of the ark with this fella called Noah the engineer, I don’t need this! I want you both out of Eden
In the beginning God made man, this fella called Adam was given a whole play station, free food, pets, a big swimming pool; I mean he was living in paradise. Eden was practically like Las Vegas, but even with all that, Adam said he was bored. God being the brains of all brains came up with the perfect solution; break Adam’s ribs with the best joke ever; a woman; her name was Eve, and boy did they have fun.
I know most of you are now thinking of Cineplex or Club Silk; get real this is BC, Adam and Eve just talked and talked and talked like radio and weazy, sometimes it was lame lines from Adam mbu he was the manager and CEO of Eden, other times real great jazz about stuff. Eve had a dope IQ as 99% of chics do (guys if your think I'm wrong, try pulling the “virgin Mary stunt”) anyway as I was saying, the short time she was at Eden, she had analysed everything; Adam was wasting resources big time and she told him so
Adam was slow like most men are (just swallow guys before I starting backing that up with evidence like Samson), the dude just couldn't get it, so Eve broke it down for the hommie, call it a little brain booster, it had occurred to her that the forbidden fruit was the most important resource in the garden, yet it was the one thing Adam ignored the most, he kept telling her that “he had no rights” to which she relentlessly kept reminding him that he was the CEO, he had all the rights.
Adam knew he was nothing but just a junior manager on probation at Eden, so he decided to come clean anti the truth shall set you free, but this one really pissed off Eve (aint life a B*#%h?), she couldn’t believe she was dating a guy on probation; she took a walk alone in the garden to cool off. That’s how she met Mr X (not the guy from Leon Island), a dude who was fired from Eden for trying to overtake the boss. He told her about the company’s classified secret “the forbidden fruit” however, we still haven’t established for a fact whether it was all wolokoso or not.
Eve couldn’t believe what she was hearing, this was the kind of opportunity Adam needed to upgrade, she told Adam all the benefits they stand to gain from the forbidden fruit. Adam was sceptical because to him that felt like double-crossing his boss (true dat), but Eve was a woman on a mission, and she wasn’t going to take NO for an answer. She employed that powerful tool called tears and guilt tripping, in the end Adam melted, consoled Eve and agreed to taste the forbidden fruit with her.
Just like a bank vault, the tree had silent alarms that these two didn't know about (yeah technology existed before Einstein) where else do you think he got the apple to do his “gravity” experiments in physics? Besides how do you think the whole world was created? Anyway back to our two rebels, the moment they tasted it, the alarms went off, and they got so busted. God called for an emergency meeting ASAP; with no shame Adam showed up wearing his new designer label “the Adam’s suit” Eve on the other hand decided it was time to launch her kimansulo line.
But God had not yet released the red pepper paparazzi from heaven, that’s why you haven’t seen those pictures published anywhere in the holy book. He was like, Adam I thought we had a memorandum of understanding, what happened? Adam was quick to put Eve in the line of fire, she made me do it (inspiration for Chameleon’s “Bayuda tulya nabo”) however, when the spotlight was turned on Eve, she had already planned her backup speech; Mr X is the one who told me to do it. God looked at them for a while playing the blame game, and told them point blank, look here guys I have a whole flood coming soon to deal with, I'm busy going through the blue prints of the ark with this fella called Noah the engineer, I don’t need this! I want you both out of Eden
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